Tiger's back hurts, BOO HOO!

So today I'm looking at the golf news feeds and all I saw were headlines about Tiger Woods and his damn back, about 294 to be exact. Ya know what? I don't care if his back hurts. If it hurts that much, then Tiger should not play. Since he is playing, let's talk golf, not about how courageous he is for playing. This is friggin golf here. It's not like he's going out to defend our country. Actually, Tiger tried to defend our country two weeks ago at the Ryder Cup and failed miserably.



I'd really prefer to hear about the first round leader Todd Hamilton. Heck, I'd like to hear his daughter make more funny comments like she did after the British Open.



Here's a good quote from Todd Hamilton regarding the Ryder Cup and playing golf "I was paying attention two weeks ago, it looked like the Europeans were having fun. From where I have been, to be playing for this amount of money on really nice courses, that's fun." Good for you Todd, you've got the right attitude.





This is just too gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) for me. I don't care if my back had the most excruciating pain, I would never let Steve Williams give me a massage.



I heard that Ian Poulter, who is not playing this week, gave all of the European golfers tees with the final Ryder Cup score on them. Ian instructed the golfers to drop a few of these tees on every tee box with the hope that American golfers would pick them up. Too funny.

David Morland IV - Who?

Why in the world would No Three Putts mention relatively unknown PGA Tour player David Morland IV on his golf blog? I'll give you one simple answer, his wife is, Mrs. Florida and runner-up at the Mrs. America contest, Michelle Morland. Michelle is another example of a hot wife of a PGA Tour player.





I've come to the conclusion that if you can say you are a professional golfer, you will end up with a hot wife. I am yet to see a truly ugly wife of a PGA Tour player, now the wife's of European Tour players are another story. Many of those players obviously have drinking problems and meet their women after kicking back way too many drinks. I think I may have to start selling fake tour cards so my readers can go out bag some hot chicks.

Vijay Singh: Practice Makes Perfect

I don't know what to say about Vijay Singh other than AMAZING. I guess it is only appropriate that Vijay means Victory in Hindi.



Let's review Vijay's year

1. Won 8 tournaments including 5 of last 6

2. Earnings of $9,455,566 (new record)

3. Became #1 Player in the World

4. Soon to be player of the year



Obviously Vijay is #1 in scoring and greens in regulation, but numbers I found interesting were Vijay is 145th in driving accuracy and 133rd in putts per round. I did not realize that his driving or putting ranked so poorly. 2004 stats



Vijay Singh hasn't made this much noise since he made the comments about Annika Sorenstam playing at the Colonial. And even now, it's not like he's really making any noise. He just practices, plays and wins. Doesn't say more than a few words, ever.



I wonder if Vijay Singh really did cheat on the Asian Tour. For much of his career Vijay was known as the guy banned from the Asian Tour for turning in a counterfeit scorecard.



If the Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren breakup rumor is true, I think now would be a good time for Vijay to make his move. I hear she only likes golfers that can say they're number one.





They don't call Vijay a P-I-M-P for nothing. You know what they say about those silent ones.



Speaking of silent ones, Vijay is also known for ripping a good one at least a few times per round.

Florida Blow Me Tour

These damn hurricanes have inspired me to make some hurricane gear.



Check out this: Florida's 2004 "Blow Me" Tour shirt.

View larger Blow Me logo



How about a Hurricane Xing thong for the Mrs?

(For women only!)

View larger Hurricane Xing logo



Check out all of No Three Putts official hurricane gear at: Florida Hurricanes 2004

NoThreePutts, Marketing Guru

Although Hurricane Jeanne is a horrible act of Mother Nature, No Three Putts thought he'd take advantage of an opportunity. The opportunity to market No Three Putts. These big ugly boards on the front of my house now tell my neighbors about No Three Putts and let them know that although I'm bracing for this damn hurricane, I'm still thinking GOLF.




Check out No Three Putts Official "Blow Me" Hurricane Gear

Jack Nicklaus & George W Bush

President Bush was recently introduced at a rally in Columbus, Ohio by Jack Nicklaus. Bush was also introduced at a rally by Arnold Palmer in Pennsylvania. It must be nice to know that when you need a cure for a slice you can call the greatest golfers of all time to help you out.



This tells me President Bush has figured out who really decide elections in this country: GOLFERS! At a rally in Greenwood Village, Colorado John Elway introduced President Bush. I don't know what Bush is looking to get from Elway, but I can assure him even John Elway won't be able to help the football teams from Texas this year.



You're on the green, use the putter. You may be the President, you can make us go to war, but when you're on a putting green even you need to use a putter. If you can't figure out which one the putter is, look for the club with a flat face.

How the US can win back the Ryder Cup

No Three Putts has figured out how the US team can win the Ryder Cup in two years. Both Europe and the US teams play the same golf course, but we have two sets of greens. Obviously, the US gets the green below.