Mark McGwire the golfer?

Mark McGwire a professional golfer? No way. Mark McGwire was a great baseball player and Mark McGwire is a good golfer, but notice I say good golfer, not great, but good. I don't know why so many great athletes think they can retire and then go out and compete with professional golfers. You don't see pro golfers retire and try to compete in other sports. Michael Jordan, one of the greatest athletes of all time, was not able to compete at golf on a professional level and neither will Mark McGwire. Is it arrogance that makes these guys think they are talented enough to compete?



Mark McGwire gave it a try at the Western Open but an opening round 82 really hurts. What I find amusing about his 82 is that he said "I think I hit enough shots out there so they knew I basically have a game." Hello! Earth to Mark! This is golf, less is better. You hit more than enough shots out there, you hit too many. If you had hit less shots out there we would have known that you have a game.



These former athletes with too much money and too much free time should stick to playing in Celebrity Tour events. Look at Rick Rhoden, he's a great golfer, but he knows his limits. He sticks to beating John Elway and other athletes and celebrities out there, not the guys on the PGA or Champions Tour. Mark McGwire you'll be a good golfer one day, but don't think you can compete with guys who have been playing at the professional level for many years, you'll just embarrass yourself.



I do believe former pro athletes can become very good golfers in shorter periods of time then the rest of us for several reasons. First they retire at a young age and have nothing else to do but golf. They also have unlimited money for lessons and equipment. And most of these athletes have superior control over their minds and bodies and can adapt to other sports more quickly than us working folk ever could.







If you ever want to make it on the PGA or Champions Tour Mark McGwire you're looking in the right direction for help.

Golf Mongolia. WTF are you thinking?

Andre Tolme went on a mission to play golf across Mongolia. GolfMongolia.com is Andre's site that claims this adventure is about extreme golf, one man hitting a golf ball across Mongolia for 90 days. He played 1,234 miles which he made into 18 holes, losing 509 balls and taking 12,170 shots. He claims par for Mongolia is 11,880 and the course is a total of 2,322,000 yards. Here's a good summary of this quest.



I think this guy needs psychological help. If I were going to pick a country to play, it certainly would not be Mongolia. How could anyone in their right mind look at a map and say "Mongolia, I'm there, that's the country I'm playing across." A damn lunatic that's who. Why not Fiji, Bermuda, Aruba, Costa Rica. Somewhere with a decent climate, that actually has some appeal. If they are too small, play 'em twice. And who gets to take a 90 day vacation?





Considering the terrain not a bad follow through. Obviously the Mongolia Golf Club has no dress code. And yes, spikes are allowed, but then again, so are your work boots. Somebody get this guy a straitjacket.

Portland, CT is my golf haven

No Three Putts grew up in Portland, CT. I know no one has ever heard of it, but yes there is a Portland in CT. Portland is located about 10 miles south of Hartford on the Connecticut River. So why mention Portland? Because this is where I learned how to play golf. My father, Henry, took me golfing for the first time when I was 7 years old at Portland Golf Club and since then I have been addicted to the game. I can still remember my father coming home from work, picking me up, rushing over to the golf course and either playing the 1st two holes or having putting contests until dark. By the time I turned 10 I was beating my father regularly, and to this day, there is no one I would rather play with.



Is the Portland Golf Club the best course I've ever played? No, but it's a fun golf course and although it's short, there always seems to be enough trees in the way to prevent great scores. I got my only hole-in-one on the uphill 4th hole. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see the ball go in the hole, but at least my Dad was with me to watch me pull the ball out of the hole. I can guarantee you that if you ever play at PGC the entire course from tees to greens will be in great shape. There's also a guy named Mark Sloan, the head professional, who is always in the pro shop with a smile on his face. I would highly recommend playing the Portland Golf Club if you are in the area.



Little Portland, CT also has two other golf courses. Quarry Ridge Golf Club is another nice course built around old brownstone quarries. I played golf in high school with the head pro there. And Portland Golf West is an executive course that is always fun to play, has a nice practice facility and the head pro Gerry has been a fixture there since the course opened in 1985.



So for a town of around 8,000 people Portland, CT has got ya covered if you want to play golf. I want to thank my Dad for teaching me how to play golf and for always encouraging me in everything I pursue. I'm glad my golf partner got good news from the doctor yesterday, can't wait to get out on Emerald Dunes with you soon.

GolfMates online golf dating service

GolfMates.com is a site for single golfers to meet other single golfers. This is an interesting concept. What guy wouldn't want to find a woman that likes golf. No more getting crap when you say "I'll be back in 5 hours, going to play 18 holes." The only problem now if you say that is you've got someone that wants to go play with you.



So here's a scenario I envision. You meet someone on GolfMates.com and set up a tee time to meet for the first time. You get to the course and see a woman that looks like Shamu putting on the practice green. You're thinking to yourself there is no way that she could be the woman I am playing with. Sure enough you go inside and the assistant pro, with a smug smile on his face, says "your partner just checked in, I see her over there on the putting green." After you go to the rest room and hurl, think of how much fun you are going to have over the next four hours. You know there is no way you'll be riding in separate carts.



I personally like to think of golf as my time for male bonding. The golf course is my sanctuary. The last thing I want to do is bring Mrs. No Three Putts golfing with me & the guys. What do I think of GolfMates? I think it's a great. I have a lot of buddies that should go to this site, put in the state they live in (for my buddy in Colorado, put in Colorado) and try to find a female. I wish Scott Kroeger, the founder of the site, a lot of luck. I love it when I see people take a concept, like online dating, and make it better.

Sexy LPGA Hottie Natalie Gulbis

Natalie Gulbis is just what the LPGA needs. She's young, pretty and has a good personality. Natalie Gulbis wants to be the Anna Kournikova of golf. Can she play golf? Who cares! Actually, she can play and has been playing since she was 4 years old. Natalie is in her 3rd year on tour. She had a great rookie year with 4 top ten finishes. She definitely had a sophomore slump and this year her chances of winning an event are not looking much better. So perhaps her goal to become the Anna of golf is realistic.



If you have not seen the Natalie Gulbis calendar, I suggest you get one. And shame on the LPGA Tour for not letting Natalie sell her calendar at the US Open. Why do they promote the calendar on their website, but not sell it at an event?







Here's her stats:

Born: January 7th, 1983

Height: 5 feet 9 inches

Education: University of Arizona (1 year)

Lives: Sacramento, California

At age 14 qualified for an LPGA event

1997 California Women's Amateur Champion

Coached by Butch Harmon

Finished 2nd in 2002 Rookie of the Year points







The LPGA needs more golfers that look like Natalie Gulbis!

Golf Lingo

The other day I was thinking about golf lingo. I said to myself, "self, why don't you think of some hip golf lingo." So being the hip cool guy that I am, I decided to come up with some golf lingo using celebrities names. Here's a few...



You hit the ball fat. Instead of saying "damn I hit that fat." Using No Three Putts golf lingo you'd say "damn that was a Rosie O'Donnell."



If you hit a horrible shot that is just ugly, that's a Tom Kite.



A shot that comes up short is a Danny Devito.



A great drive that you hit long and hard that's a Ron Jeremy.



You hit a ball really thin, but it still looks pretty damn good, that's a Paris Hilton. For those of you that saw her infamous video you could also use her name if you hit a shot that sucks.



You hit a great shot that is just killer, that's an O.J. Simpson.



If you hit a lot of hooks, you're obviously a hooker, instead I'd call you a Heidi Fleiss.



If you're playing with someone that cheats, he's a Martha Stewart.



When someone just totally chokes, instead of saying "ha you choked loser". Why not say "ha you did a David Beckham". I have still not forgiven the Brits for calling Todd Hamilton an obscure pub question.



You hit one in the bunker and it's hiding in the sand like a scared little girl, that shot would be a Saddam Hussein.



You play with someone that lays up instead of going for it like a man, he's an Elton John.



When a putt lips out, that's a Mick Jagger.



And for those of you that actually want to see a "real" list of golf lingo here's a fairly thorough one. Any of you out there that think you are funny, by all means please post a comment, I'd like to see this list grow.

Scotty Cameron Red X & Aserta Eclipse Putters

Scotty Cameron and Aserta both make good putters. I do not own either one of these putters, but I've putted a few balls with each. What I find amusing is all of the hype about these putters. I've got three putters that I rotate depending on the mood I'm in. I have a Ping Anser 2, an old TPM 13 and an even older Tommy Armour putter. And believe it or not No Three Putts is a pretty good putter even with these "classics". I am yet to embrace the modern putting technology.

It is hard for me to believe that a putter can make a golfer better at putting. Aserta is not shy about advertising that you'll save 6 strokes a round by using their putter. If this were true there would be such a buzz about their putters it would be as popular as the Tiger Woods scandal.

As for the Scotty Cameron putter $299 seems expensive for a putter, but I guess if Taylor Made R7 Drivers can go for up to $799 then why not pay $299 for a club that is used a lot more times per round. The one thing that annoys me about Scotty Cameron putters is the putter covers. I have never been a fan of putter or iron covers. Just seems a little anal retentive to me.

Aserta's big claim is that their putters use IVM, Inverted Mass Technology. What this means is their putter puts the weight of the club on the top of the putter head which creates top spin on the ball and eliminates skidding, sidespin and bouncing. Makes sense? I guess.

Scotty Cameron putters market two things. The materials, aluminum and stainless steel, they are made of and their sleek design which will "instill confidence". When over the ball you'll be lined up to find the true sweetspot. This also sounds good.

But why am I still not convinced Aserta or Scotty Cameron will make you a better putter? Because to me putting is about reading a green and having good speed control. Being able to do both of these things is what makes a good putter. Don't buy a Scotty Cameron or Aserta putter and think you will become a better putter. They might have a good feel when striking the ball, but it will take more than a putter to make you better.

You can get more info and buy these putters at Edwin Watts Golf.